I thought the Egyptians had cured baldness.
Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.
I would never advocate the use of dope because, you know, I'm not a professional athlete and I don't have access to the good stuff.
I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.
I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.
I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and gosh darn it, tonight I'm the king of the... general area.