You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.

Talking to the British about sex is like talking to Americans about reading. Nobody does it so why talk about it?

How would you like to make money in real estate?

I work for a few at home who are devoted. People who are up now. Either they have some sort of bladder problem or they're extremely drunk. This is my crowd, these are the people I hope to get.

I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.

If you do not find me funny, that is your problem and I am not going away.

Oh, I don't wear a bathing suit. I wear a tent when I go out.