People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.

Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.

Animals have two vital functions in today's society; to be delicious and to fit well.

I like to go to England, and I'll tell you why. I like to go to a country where I am considered the best-looking person. It's as simple as that. Hollywood, kind of a crushing ego blow - 'Hey Buddy Holly, you are so old, have you not perished in a plane crash?' But not in England, good God, not there. In England, God bless that dinky island, there it's, 'Good God, look at him. He has all his teeth and his ears are in proportion to his head.' I'm Brad bloody Pitt on that island.

My feeling is, we ran from animals for three million years. It's our time now. If a cow could eat you, it would. And it wouldn't care how comfortable your truck ride over was, either.

I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.

And eat lots of mints, it fools the cops.