I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.

I'm old and my knowledge is strictly horizontal.

Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.

If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.

I did stand up first in high school, joined an improv group in college, kept doing stand up after that, no one could deter me. And I have no other skills really, so I'm sorta stuck with this now. It's a little late to switch over to an ornithologist.

My feeling is, we ran from animals for three million years. It's our time now. If a cow could eat you, it would. And it wouldn't care how comfortable your truck ride over was, either.

Yo. I'm from Beverly Hills, and I be pimpin'.