And eat lots of mints, it fools the cops.
Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.
Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'
In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.
Animals have two vital functions in today's society; to be delicious and to fit well.
If you have a funny costume, you can't really wear it when you get older.