Tequila is like acid in a glass.

I think comedy should be left up to the professionals, that way everyone's safety is protected.

I like the night life, I like to boogy.

Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.

If you do not find me funny, that is your problem and I am not going away.

It doesn't matter how much of an asshole you are, there was always someone who thought you were cool.

White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.