Greg Proops Quotes

Oh, I don't wear a bathing suit. I wear a tent when I go out.

Contact lenses are for vain, weak-willed piglets who swan around showing off: 'Look everybody, I can see without spectacles. No one at first glance will ever assume I know how to surf the net.'

Glasses are for the brave. I do not need to pretend that I am sighted. People who need glasses and don't wear them are slightly less treacherous than people who don't need them and do-like every shallow Hollywood star who wants to be taken seriously.

If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.

You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!