For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin or when he sees silver he looks for the cloud it lines. A wise happy person does the exact opposite.

Any man who, having a child or children he can't support, proceeds to have another should be sterilized at once.

All the great villainies of history, from the murder of Abel onward, have been perpetrated by sober men, chiefly by Teetotalers.

The military caste did not originate as a party of patriots, but as a party of bandits

Writing does for me what giving milk does for a cow.

No politician is ever benefited by saving money; it is spending it that makes him.