For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.

Sin is a dangerous toy in the hands of the virtuous. It should be left to the congenitally sinful, who know when to play with it and when to let it alone.

The average man never really thinks from end to end of his life. The mental activity of such people is only a mouthing of clichés.

The average woman must inevitably view her actual husband with a certain disdain; he is anything but her ideal. In consequence, she cannot help feeling that her children are cruelly handicapped by the fact that he is their father.

What the meaning of human life may be I don't know: I incline to suspect that it has none.

The kind of man who demands that government enforce his ideas is always the kind whose ideas are idiotic.

The truth, indeed, is something that mankind, for some mysterious reason, instinctively dislikes. Every man who tries to tell it is unpopular, and even when, by the sheer strength of his case, he prevails, he is put down as a scoundrel.