People think that the arts are optional and they aren't. They teach a level of emotional depth that's equally important to mathematic skill. You can replace some math skills with a calculator if you know how to operate the thing, but there's no calculator for human interaction.

If you take anything I say with any seriousness whatsoever, go study Yang style tai chi. It will make you live longer.

Ive been doing stand-up since I was 15 years old.

Sometimes I play guitar like a frustrated drummer.

The Bush administration made us nostalgic for ... well, any other time in history.

If 'Airplane!' comes on, it's like a comfort film. You can always guarantee a laugh watching that movie.

Growing up in Kentucky, I used to hang out with four running buddies as a kid - 6, 10, and 11 years old. Two of them would later come out, and so 50 percent of my friends as a kid were gay.