It's all over but the crying.

We've got a Muslim for a president who hates cowboys, hates cowgirls, hates fishing, hates farming, loves gays and we hate him!

Some high society lady said is your horse outside? No ma'am, he's between my legs, but your too fat to ride.

No mommy's kisses and no daddy's smile. Nobody wants me, I'm nobody's child.

Now if you shoot someone, sir, you can get off Scott free. It's the latest thing Mr. Lincoln, can you believe?

After reading hundreds of e-mails, I have made MY decision. By pulling my opening Oct 3rd, You (ESPN) stepped on the Toes of The First Amendment Freedom of Speech, so therefore Me, My Song, and All My Rowdy Friends are OUT OF HERE. It's been a great run.

My grandpa taught me how to live off the land.