Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.

We commonly confuse closeness with sameness and view intimacy as the merging of two separate I's into one worldview.

Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.

Believing that all women should want to be mothers makes about as much sense as believing that all men should want to be engineers.

The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.

Feeling inadequate is an occupational hazard of motherhood.

The best apology, I think, was from my husband, Steve, who slept with a close friend of mine decades back, when we were committed to being life partners but not yet married. And many of the factors that made Steve's apology so healing are universal. One important thing is that he confessed to the affair, rather than my discovering it. He looked deeply into his own history in terms of why this happened, but he never used that history as an excuse.