An optimist is merely an ex-pessimist with his pockets full of money, his digestion in good condition, and his wife in the country.

Some men are born for matrimony, some achieve matrimony -- but most of them are merely poor dodgers.

The feminine vanity-case is the graveyard of masculine illusions.

To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers; to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.

One man's folly is another man's wife.

There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.