Better a lively old epigram than a deadly new one.

Eternity: The interval between the time when a woman discovers that a man is in love with her and the time when he finds it out himself and tells her about it.

There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

Marriage is the only thing that affords a woman the pleasure of company and the perfect sensation of solitude at the same time.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.