Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.

Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place.

Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst end of the bargain.

Flattery is like wine, which exhilarates a man for a moment, but usually ends by going to his head and making him act foolishly.

Eve had one advantage over all the rest of her sex. In his wildest moments of rage Adam never could accuse her of being 'just like her mother!

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.