Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are 'made in America.'

Honeymoons are the beginning of wisdom--but the beginning of wisdom is the end of romance.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage , he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.

A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.

A bachelor has to have an inspiration for making love to a woman--a married man needs only an excuse.

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.