Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst end of the bargain.

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.

A bachelor has to have an inspiration for making love to a woman--a married man needs only an excuse.

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.

Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.