Marriage is the only thing that affords a woman the pleasure of company and the perfect sensation of solitude at the same time.

To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard, that he spends too much money, that he is "misunderstood" or that he is "different;" none of this is necessarily complimentary, but it will flatter him infinitely more than merely telling him that he is brilliant, or noble, or wise, or good.

The feminine vanity-case is the graveyard of masculine illusions.

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.

A bachelor gets tangled up with a lot of women in order to avoid getting tied up to one.

The dollar sign is the only sign in which the modern man appears to have any real faith.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.