The feminine vanity-case is the graveyard of masculine illusions.

True love isn't the kind that endures through long years of absence, but the kind that endures through long years of propinquity.

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last.

When a man makes a woman his wife it's the highest compliment he can pay her – and usually it's the last.

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.

To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard, that he spends too much money, that he is "misunderstood" or that he is "different;" none of this is necessarily complimentary, but it will flatter him infinitely more than merely telling him that he is brilliant, or noble, or wise, or good.