What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.

Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.

Before marriage, when a woman speaks to a man in an undertone, he calls it "cooing"; after marriage, he calls it nagging.

At twenty, a man feels awfully aged and blasé; at thirty, almost senile; at forty, "not so old"; and at fifty, positively skittish.

Honeymoons are the beginning of wisdom--but the beginning of wisdom is the end of romance.