What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little 'personal characteristics.'

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

Honeymoons are the beginning of wisdom--but the beginning of wisdom is the end of romance.

Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.