Before marriage, when a woman speaks to a man in an undertone, he calls it "cooing"; after marriage, he calls it nagging.

Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.

True love isn't the kind that endures through long years of absence, but the kind that endures through long years of propinquity.

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?

Marriage: a souvenir of love.

Some widowers are bereaved -- others, relieved.

Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.