Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

Never worry for fear you have broken a man's heart; at the worst it is only sprained and a week's rest will put it in perfect working condition again.

Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

A man always mistakes a woman's clinging devotion for weakness, until he discovers that it requires the strength of Samson, the patience of Job, and the finesse of Solomon to untwine it.

The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

A good woman is known by what she does; a good man by what he doesn't.