Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers; to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.

There are many times where a woman would gladly drop her husband if she did not feel morally certain that some other woman would come right along and pick him up.

Eternity: The interval between the time when a woman discovers that a man is in love with her and the time when he finds it out himself and tells her about it.