Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

Before marriage, when a woman speaks to a man in an undertone, he calls it "cooing"; after marriage, he calls it nagging.

There are many times where a woman would gladly drop her husband if she did not feel morally certain that some other woman would come right along and pick him up.

Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst end of the bargain.