Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A man always mistakes a woman's clinging devotion for weakness, until he discovers that it requires the strength of Samson, the patience of Job, and the finesse of Solomon to untwine it.

It is as hard to get a man to stay at home after you've married him as it was to get him to go home before you married him.

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.