Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.

Verily, the best of husbands hath many raw edges, and many unnecessary pleats in his temper, and many wrinkles in his disposition, which must be removed.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.

A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.