Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little 'personal characteristics.'

A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

Matrimony is the price of love -- divorce, the rebate.

The dollar sign is the only sign in which the modern man appears to have any real faith.

Never worry for fear you have broken a man's heart; at the worst it is only sprained and a week's rest will put it in perfect working condition again.

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.