A man marries one woman to escape from many others, and then chases many others to forget he's married to one.

A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the spice of experience, the piquancy of novelty, the tang of practiced coquetry, and the halo of one man's approval.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

A man may talk inspiringly to a woman about love in the abstract--but the look in his eyes is always perfectly concrete.

Nothing annoys a man as to hear a woman promising to love him "forever" when he merely wanted her to love him for a few weeks.