It causes me great pain to sue the company I work for. Nevertheless, I had to do it. Suffice it to say, there's a dispute and I believe I haven't been given what is mine.

I'm the voice of honesty.

Most of the things I do are misunderstood. Hey, after all, being misunderstood is the fate of all true geniuses, is it not?

Set about doing good to somebody. Put on your hat and go and visit the sick and poor of your neighborhood; inquire into their circumstances and minister to their wants. Seek out the desolate and afflicted and oppressed. . . I have often tried this method, and have always found it the best medicine for a heavy heart.

Why be uptight about bowel movements and sex? We all have sex. We all have penises -- except for those of us who have vaginas.

Rick Shapiro is a top comedian.

I've always thought that a name says a lot about a person. So naturally, being named Howard, I always wanted to crawl into a hole.