When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours a day for you and never, ever burn his audience.

The New York Times' list is a bunch of crap. They ought to call it the editor's choice. It sure isn't based on sales.

I will never vote Democrat again, they are Communists.

These nutbags, like Santorum and Bachmann, who make these people and especially young gay kids feel miserable, shame on them. They're quacks. I would never vote for them. I wouldn't even listen to them because there but for the grace of God go they.

I'm about being funny. If I can make a joke using profanity, I will. But for the most part, that can get awfully old and boring.

I'm a believer that satellite radio, whether I'm on it or not, will take off.

I think I could create a cult, no problem. The hard part is getting people to kill themselves.