This country (United States) has too many freedoms.

I will never feel successful.

I've actually apologized to some people I was a real jerk to, because I feel ashamed. I didn't need to be that hungry. There was something going on inside me when I was angry and feeling very threatened and not feeling good about myself.

When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours a day for you and never, ever burn his audience.

I don't think any religion makes any sense and I think people who are into that are really getting duped, and I don't think Judaism makes any more sense than Christianity, and I don't think Christianity makes any more sense than Scientology. But here's a guy, L. Ron Hubbard, who told all his friends, 'Look, I'm gonna start a religion, 'cause I can't make any money as a science fiction writer.' I mean, he admitted that publicly! At least with Jesus Christ, you can't go talk to the guy.

Well, first of all, I'm worth every penny.

I don't think there's one thing I've ever said on the radio that would have been found indecent or obscene.