Set about doing good to somebody. Put on your hat and go and visit the sick and poor of your neighborhood; inquire into their circumstances and minister to their wants. Seek out the desolate and afflicted and oppressed. . . I have often tried this method, and have always found it the best medicine for a heavy heart.

I'm trapped inside of me and I don't go out at all. I go to bed at eight o'clock at night. I never go out during the week. I'm in psychotherapy four days a week, pretty heavy commitment to it.

I can't imagine the biggest blow to me was that marriage not working out. That just flipped me out.

Here's what happens when you die--you sit in a box and get eaten by worms. I guarantee you that when you die, nothing cool happens.

The New York Times' list is a bunch of crap. They ought to call it the editor's choice. It sure isn't based on sales.

I seem to be some sort of lightning rod. I just really irritate people, you know? I really do.

Rick Shapiro is a top comedian.