Well, first of all, I'm worth every penny.

I'm the voice of honesty.

Every time I went on the radio, I would take the crummiest radio station, the station that was like a toilet bowl. I would go on there and build up the ratings, so you couldn't do any worse.

I've come to appreciate other people's talents.

I will always be mad at someone. That will never go away.

I am circumcised, and I tell you something, I despise it. I despise it. I despise it... I am completely pissed off that I'm circumcised.

Rick Shapiro is a top comedian.