I'm going to take over the world. Everyone watch out, you're in big trouble.

I will always be mad at someone. That will never go away.

I will never feel successful.

I've always thought that a name says a lot about a person. So naturally, being named Howard, I always wanted to crawl into a hole.

Every time I went on the radio, I would take the crummiest radio station, the station that was like a toilet bowl. I would go on there and build up the ratings, so you couldn't do any worse.

Why be uptight about bowel movements and sex? We all have sex. We all have penises -- except for those of us who have vaginas.

I'm a parent, and I regulate what my kids listen to. I don't need the government to be the parent. If I'm a crappy parent, then I need the government involved.