Most of the things I do are misunderstood. Hey, after all, being misunderstood is the fate of all true geniuses, is it not?

Here's what happens when you die--you sit in a box and get eaten by worms. I guarantee you that when you die, nothing cool happens.

We all get one life to live here. It's 2012, and for gay and lesbian couples who are in love, not to be able to be married is so absurd.

Talent is what drives this world ... Doesn’t matter how many satellites you f---ing stick in the air.

This country (United States) has too many freedoms.

I'm for legalizing marijuana. Why pick on those drugs? Valium is legal. You just go to a doctor and get it and overdose on it - what's the difference? Prozac, all that stuff, so why not marijuana? Who cares? It's something that grows out of the ground - why not? Go smoke a head of cabbage. I don't care what you smoke.

Mike Walker is the Hemingway of gossip.