I'm a parent, and I regulate what my kids listen to. I don't need the government to be the parent. If I'm a crappy parent, then I need the government involved.

I am circumcised, and I tell you something, I despise it. I despise it. I despise it... I am completely pissed off that I'm circumcised.

Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low.

I'm on the air five hours, and I blurt out anything in my head. Dangerous? Maybe.

I'm down with just the Backstreet Boys.

Please, with the God talk. Hate to break it to you, but there is no God.

There are a lot of so-called "good Americans" who are really a bunch of bums.