Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low.

Most of the things I do are misunderstood. Hey, after all, being misunderstood is the fate of all true geniuses, is it not?

When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours a day for you and never, ever burn his audience.

My mother was very involved with me. And we had a dialogue constantly. And it was like an umbilical cord. As long as the words were flowing back and forth we were connected and feeding each other. And I probably grew up very afraid of losing that connection.

Talent is what drives this world ... Doesn’t matter how many satellites you f---ing stick in the air.

I didn't listen to executives.

I don't like being 50 and I don't like thinking about death.