I hate funerals. They aren't for the guy who's dead. They're for the guys who are left alive and enjoy mourning.

People who don't drink are afraid of revealing themselves.

The whole world is about three drinks behind.

Major Strasser: You give him (Rick Blaine) credit for too much cleverness. My impression was that he's just another blundering American. Captain Renault: We musn't underestimate American blundering. I was with them when they blundered into Berlin in 1918.

If a face like Ingrid Bergman's looks at you as though you're adorable, everybody does. You don't have to act very much.

I don't approve of the John Waynes and the Gary Coopers saying "Shucks, I ain't no actor - I'm just a bridge builder or a gas station attendant." If they aren't actors, what the hell are they getting paid for? I have respect for my profession. I worked hard at it.

The only good reason to have money is this: so that you can tell any SOB in the world to go to hell.