the problems of three little people in a big world don't add up to much

Major Strasser: You give him (Rick Blaine) credit for too much cleverness. My impression was that he's just another blundering American. Captain Renault: We musn't underestimate American blundering. I was with them when they blundered into Berlin in 1918.

The only good reason to have money is this: so that you can tell any SOB in the world to go to hell.

I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me.

I hate funerals. They aren't for the guy who's dead. They're for the guys who are left alive and enjoy mourning.

What's at the end of a million dollars? Zero, zero, zero... nothing. A circle with a hole in it.

People who don't drink are afraid of revealing themselves.