Such a lot of guns around town and so few brains!
(on Warner Brothers) This studio has more suspensions than the Golden Gate Bridge.
The only way to find the best actor would be to let everybody play Hamlet and let the best man win.
What's at the end of a million dollars? Zero, zero, zero... nothing. A circle with a hole in it.
I gave up drinking once -- it was the worst afternoon of my entire life.
[On the House Un-American Activities Committee] They'll nail anyone who ever scratched his ass during the National Anthem.