My wife runs the house much better than I could so I think she could be a linesman or a referee or even a football manager and that's the truth.

My ceiling's broken, my car's got a puncture and we've just lost two matches. But I've got my health and I'll ask the big man upstairs why he didn't give us a point.

Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark.

Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon.

Managing a league club is like making love to a mermaid... you should always be aiming for a top half finish

It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake.

He's going to be what?! Oh for God's sake. Sir David Beckham? You're having a laugh. He's just a good footballer with a famous bird.