Managing a league club is like making love to a mermaid... you should always be aiming for a top half finish

If I fell into a barrel of boobs, I'd come out sucking my thumb

There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth.

My old trainer used to tell us not to blast, but to caress the ball whenever we took possession. If the ball were a woman... she would be spending all night with Berbatov.

I feel like I've been on EastEnders all my life and now I'm playing King Lear.

My wife runs the house much better than I could so I think she could be a linesman or a referee or even a football manager and that's the truth.

Apparently it’s my fault that the Titanic sank.