To put it in gentleman's terms if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they're good looking and some weeks they're not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let's have coffee.

If you're a burglar, it's no good waiting about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don't advocate that obviously, it's just an analogy.

Roy Keane's like a shark. He has those eyes. You don't know if he is going to buy you a drink or eat you.

Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon.

I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season!

Apparently it’s my fault that the Titanic sank.

You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.