The dietician is going to get rid of that when he comes in. Although, first, we've got to get a dietician.

The dietician is going to get rid of that when he comes in. Although, first, we've got to get a dietician.

Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark.

My ceiling's broken, my car's got a puncture and we've just lost two matches. But I've got my health and I'll ask the big man upstairs why he didn't give us a point.

You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.

I feel like a steaming cow-pat - or a car that's clocked up 400,000 miles in one journey.

If you're a burglar, it's no good waiting about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don't advocate that obviously, it's just an analogy.