You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.

It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake.

Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon.

In football you need to have everything in your cake mix to make the cake taste right. One little bit of ingredient that Tony uses in his cake that gets talked about all the time is Rory's throw. Call that cinnamon and he's got a cinnamon flavoured cake.

I feel like I've been on EastEnders all my life and now I'm playing King Lear.

It's all very well having a great pianist playing but it's no good if you haven't got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play.

I feel like a steaming cow-pat - or a car that's clocked up 400,000 miles in one journey.