You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.

Apparently it’s my fault that the Titanic sank.

Managing a league club is like making love to a mermaid... you should always be aiming for a top half finish

My old trainer used to tell us not to blast, but to caress the ball whenever we took possession. If the ball were a woman... she would be spending all night with Berbatov.

I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark.

Roy Keane's like a shark. He has those eyes. You don't know if he is going to buy you a drink or eat you.

Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings.