Apparently it’s my fault that the Titanic sank.

In football you need to have everything in your cake mix to make the cake taste right. One little bit of ingredient that Tony uses in his cake that gets talked about all the time is Rory's throw. Call that cinnamon and he's got a cinnamon flavoured cake.

Managing a league club is like making love to a mermaid... you should always be aiming for a top half finish

If you're a burglar, it's no good waiting about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don't advocate that obviously, it's just an analogy.

I watched Arsenal in the Champions League the other week playing some of the best football I've ever seen and yet they couldn't have scored in a brothel with two grand in their pockets!

I am more than happy at Blackpool and I am afraid the chairman will need a hell of a tub of cream to get rid of me - I'm like a bad rash and not easily curable.

My old trainer used to tell us not to blast, but to caress the ball whenever we took possession. If the ball were a woman... she would be spending all night with Berbatov.