I believe, even when I'm doing my standup or my acting or whatever I'm doing, I believe in painting pictures.

Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?

Sad when you spend more time trying to stay alive than living.

You're trying to make someone wet their pants and you're trying to make somebody crap in their pants. That's the motivation of a comic. Who else has that power?

I drive a big Dodge truck. I drive American cars.

You buy a new iPhone, a few months later, another new iPhone comes out, and you get online to buy another one. You can't get enough. You are addicted to Apple.

Pursuing your dreams involves you accepting where you want to go. Don't allow anybody else to talk you out of things or discourage you from doing whatever you want to do. You can hold on to your dream and never pursue it or you can start pursuing it. If you can see it, or if you can envision it... it can happen.