I'm a thief. I steal scenes, I steal opportunities. I am the ultimate thief. I got sticky fingers.

You buy a new iPhone, a few months later, another new iPhone comes out, and you get online to buy another one. You can't get enough. You are addicted to Apple.

I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate their videos; they get a chance to blog and kick it with me.

This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache.

I think comedy evolves constantly. I reinvent myself all the time. I always find a way to entertain myself because I truly believe you have to entertain yourself in order to relate it the right way to your audience.

Pursuing your dreams involves you accepting where you want to go. Don't allow anybody else to talk you out of things or discourage you from doing whatever you want to do. You can hold on to your dream and never pursue it or you can start pursuing it. If you can see it, or if you can envision it... it can happen.

I'm afraid one thing - I don't like heights. Heights bug me out. I'm not cool with heights. I refuse to do a comedy show 12 stories up. I'm fearless about everything else.