Damn! This flight attendant treating us like we won these first class tickets in a contest.

If I had signed my fourth season of SNL, I wouldn't have ever had the opportunity to do Curb Your Enthusiasm. If my buddy OG Pearson wouldn't have passed away, I wouldn't have been in L.A. for his memorial, and I would've never auditioned for Curb.

I have big hands. I can't do the touch-screen thing. I'm a button guy. I want to press buttons.

Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't like to be robotic onstage. I like to perform for that particular audience.

That's what I am; I'm a drip. You still get hydrated, you still get your nutrients, just a little at a damn time.

Police blog or entertainment news, it's just good to see your name in print.

I'm afraid one thing - I don't like heights. Heights bug me out. I'm not cool with heights. I refuse to do a comedy show 12 stories up. I'm fearless about everything else.