Thank you for all the birthday wishes, it's brought a tear to my eye, and a boner to my pants.

Wrestling is very similar to gay sex, but you don't have to wear condoms.

Going back to Baltimore is awesome because all my friends still live there and there's never a dull moment when you're hanging out with your high-school friends.

I am the kind of dude that would go to your seventh grade class and sit at the back of the classroom and stare at all your butts.

You don't always get the waterfall shortcut in Mario Kart. That's life.

I go into the crowd almost everyday and I really really really despise it when people try to steal my shoes. That is a thing where they're proabably like 'oh, you can just go out and buy a new pair'. Like yeah, but those are my shoes. How would you feel if I tried to steal your shoes?

My band and I are brothers. Nothing can break us. With it 'till the end.