Comedy itself is based upon very old principles of which I can readily name seven. They are, in short: the joke, exaggeration, ridicule, ignorance, surprise, the pun, and finally, the comic situation.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

Bill Paley is not only the greatest boss I ever had, but he's the most brilliant, honest and warm human being I've ever met. And I'll say that to his face - even if it costs me my job.

I'm like Will Rogers, I never met a man I didn't like... well, Eichmann maybe.

I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.

Try saving when your salary is low. So after making more money, you will not be able to do this anywhere

I began my show business career playing violin in San Francisco at the corner of Market and Taylor. I understand that there is a theater there now.