Modesty is my best quality.
Everything good that happened to me happened by accident.
The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me except that I have a slight stomach pain. Wait till I get my hospital bill! Then I'll really have a pain the stomach!
I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early.
Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
A rich man is one who isn't afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.