Try saving when your salary is low. So after making more money, you will not be able to do this anywhere

I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian.

A rich man is one who isn't afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.

I must be cheaper now than I was ten years ago in order to get a laugh. It's not funny now if I leave the table and give the waiter a nickel tip, which was a laugh years ago. Today I must maneuver it so that somehow I get the waiter to give me a nickel tip.

Modesty is my best quality.

I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.

As you may or may not know, in keeping with the high-class tone of Beverly Hills, our police force is probably the most snobbish group of gendarmes in the world. It is said that the Beverly Hills Police Department is so fancy that it has an unlisted number.