I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian.
Jack BennyMy wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
Jack BennyThe only way I'll ever get hurt in the casino is if there's an earthquake and a slot machine falls on my foot.
Jack BennyI believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.
Jack Benny