I'm an old newspaper-man myself, but I quit because I found there was no money in old newspapers.

No matter how often I tell people I'm thirty-nine some of them refuse to believe I'm that old.

How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice. Practice. Practice.

I'm like Will Rogers, I never met a man I didn't like... well, Eichmann maybe.

I began my show business career playing violin in San Francisco at the corner of Market and Taylor. I understand that there is a theater there now.

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.