There's only five real people in Hollywood. Everyone else is Mel Blanc.
I feel responsible for Johnny Ray's success. See many years ago I asked him to be on my show and he asked for a lot of money and I cried. And he stole that from me.
Gags die, humor doesn't.
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice. Practice. Practice.
No matter how often I tell people I'm thirty-nine some of them refuse to believe I'm that old.