Any man who would walk five miles through the snow, barefoot, just to return a library book so he could save three cents - that's my kind of guy.

I was going to buy my girl a Packard car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver, so I bought her some handkerchiefs.

When you talk about the world's greatest entertainer you have to say Al Jolson because there was no one like him. Only Judy Garland and perhaps Frank Sinatra got anywhere near him!

Try to save something while your salary is small; it's impossible to save after you begin to earn more.

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.

The only way I'll ever get hurt in the casino is if there's an earthquake and a slot machine falls on my foot.