Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

There's only five real people in Hollywood. Everyone else is Mel Blanc.

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

Try to save something while your salary is small; it's impossible to save after you begin to earn more.

Gags die, humor doesn't.

Comedy itself is based upon very old principles of which I can readily name seven. They are, in short: the joke, exaggeration, ridicule, ignorance, surprise, the pun, and finally, the comic situation.

I'm an old newspaper-man myself, but I quit because I found there was no money in old newspapers.