I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early.

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

When you talk about the world's greatest entertainer you have to say Al Jolson because there was no one like him. Only Judy Garland and perhaps Frank Sinatra got anywhere near him!

How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice. Practice. Practice.

I'm living in a very modest place. I have a room over-looking beautiful Claridge's Hotel. I thought it was better than paying Claridge's prices and overlooking the dump I'm living in.

I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian.

I'm like Will Rogers, I never met a man I didn't like... well, Eichmann maybe.