I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early.

Everything good that happened to me happened by accident.

I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian.

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray.

I'm living in a very modest place. I have a room over-looking beautiful Claridge's Hotel. I thought it was better than paying Claridge's prices and overlooking the dump I'm living in.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.